Rapids

Good news bad news? A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through. The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please." The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork!" The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?" And the New Yorker responds, "So much for your canoe you stupid cannibal!

Good News-Bad News? -=Just Remember, I did not make this joke=- A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through. The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please." The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork!" The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?" And the New Yorker responds, "So much for your canoe you stupid cannibal!

Big Canoe residents are finally going to get enjoy a coffee house. Have you heard the news? Steaming Joes Fine Coffees and Smoothies are opening in Marble Hill Georgia in the Foothills Parkway Center in the new building in front of the IGA store. This is a great coffee shop.

Are news stories sometimes just TOO horrific? A crocodile has bitten off a 10-year-old girl's head after knocking over the canoe she was travelling in. She was on her way to a floating school on the Agusan Marsh in the Philippineswhen the huge reptile capsized the boat, the provincial government said. The girl fell into the water during the attack on Saturday, but her headless body was not discovered until two days later. A classmate who was with her was rescued by a man who had been escorting the pair in another boat, said Ruel Hipulan, head of the private group which runs the school. "It's a monster crocodile," he said. Witnesses said the crocodile was about 30ft (nine metres) long. The floating school has been temporarily closed while a search for the crocodile is under way. Around 100 members of the Manobo tribe have been forced to leave their houses, which sit on the lake on stilts, amid fears of another attack. The Agusan Marsh in southern Mindanao island is a sanctuary for protected species including freshwater crocodiles and soft-shell turtles. Crocodile attacks in the area are rare but the reptiles have become aggressive recently because they have had little to feed on. The lake has been swollen for the past several months, causing fish to scatter to other places. What a horrible way to die and at such a young age!! http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Crocodile-Attack-Croc-Bites-Off-Girls-Head-On-Agusan-Marsh-In-Philippines/Article/200903215240174?lpos=World_News_News_Your_Way_Region_7&lid=NewsYourWay_ARTICLE_15240174_Crocodile_Attack%3A_Croc_Bites_Off_Girls_Head_On_Agusan_Marsh_In_Philippines

How would i find a news paper article about a man drowning in ft.lauderdale fla in 1989 i know this isnt really a topic for this catagory, but i know the types of people that go on here are pretty much family oriented and might be able to help me with this. Heres the thing, i live in MICH now, we moved here from ft.lauderdale FLA in 1989. what happen was my dad and brother went for a canoe ride, it tipped and my dad drown from undertoe, and my brother made it to shore. i want to know if its possible to find the news paper ad from that time or tv station report on it? he drown in ft.lauderdale fla, at an FPL (florida power and lights) lake in 1989. is there a way to find these>? im not sure of the common paper at that time or tv station as i was only 9 yrs old, but his name was gerald keith meyers, if anyopne can help i would GREATLY APPRECIATE IT! thansk so much in advance!

Why do people in current events jump on every single news bandwagon there is and go on and on about it? We had Madeleine for at least 5 months (still do) then the teddy bear teacher, people completely obsessed with that and now canoe man, I wonder what the next story will be for the users in current events to get their sharpened claws into?

Ideas for a news letter for a company that does fishing, camping, canoes outdoors stuff any ideas?? Ideas for the name of the news letter. It is an outdoor company! If there are any ideas as to a name would love to here it. We do fishing, camping, diving canoes and stuff as such

Does it seem yahoo news has a perpencity to produce mountains out of molehills from non stories? http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/22082011/58/london-2012-nazi-anthem-played-canoe-championship.html Ok so one looks at yahoo news, no I don't know why either perhaps just habit or in a vain attempt to see if there's anything worth looking at today. Anyway, lets take one of today's no entity stories about the wrong national anthem been played, right so we click to video and the shock horror of the athletes is pretty awesome, their standing there not flinching an eyelid. How is this news worthy of being mentioned?

News Story - Wow - In society, this brings a whole new dimension to the phrase of "beating a horse", you agree I know the technical phrase is "beating a DEAD horse" but some people shorten it .... http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2007/04/04/3916030-ap.html Woman riding horse at midnight charged:News Article SYLVANIA, Ala. (AP) - A woman who went for a horseback ride through town at midnight and allegedly used the horse to ram a police car was charged with driving under the influence and drug offenses, police said Tuesday. "Cars were passing by having to avoid it, and almost hitting the horse," said Police Chief Brad Gregg. He said DUI charges can apply even when the vehicle has four legs instead of wheels. Police in the northeast Alabama town received a call around midnight Saturday about someone riding a horse on a city street, Gregg said. Officer John Seals found Melissa Byrum York, 40, of Henagar on horseback on a nearby road and attempted to stop her. Seals asked the woman repeatedly to get off the horse, but she kept trying

Should Americans be able to cut Fox News out of their cable programming, the same way Canadians can? ...Without cutting out the programming package it's normally a part of? Canadians subscribers to a major Canadian cable provider can now opt out of Fox News without giving up the cable 'package' that accompanies it. "Angry Canadians can give Fox the heave ho" "Shaw (Cable) is allowing customers to get rid of Fox News and opt for another cable channel." "We've made changes to how we offer Fox News. There have been recent inappropriate and disrespectful comments on the channel regarding the Canadian Military's efforts in Afghanistan, comments that were found to be offensive to our customers," says a notice on the Shaw website. "In response to the concerns expressed by our customers, we are moving the channel to an opt-in service starting May 19," That means that Shaw customers, still fuming over the remarks, can opt to have the channel removed from their news package and replaced with another choice." http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2009/05/14/9461056-cp.html For those who say, "don't watch it", if you want to keep the rest of the package, you still have to pay for Fox News. Shaw subscribers don't have to. They can replace that one channel with something else, and not have to pay for Fox News.

Boring floods always on news,whos fed up with them all in there stupid canoes? why oh why must they get in a canoe and drive down there stupid streets?im fed up with it all.who else hates them? i feel sorry for em,just fed up with there stupid canoes !!!!!!!!!!

Whats With The News Lately? “Bo’s Press Conference with Gaydos” The news media is pathetic. First, it was wall to wall coverage of the daring rescue of an American captain at sea. It’s not every day a US ship the size of a football field gets attacked by a bunch of kids in a canoe. NON STORY #1. That brings us to NON STORY #2. Did you see all the lame cable stations doing live breaking coverage of the Obamas’s new dog?! CNN had actual guests on to comment about it. I especially liked Wolf Blitzer’s interview with The Dog Whisperer. No joke! George Stephanopoulos did a full segment roundtable discussion about the puppy! Again, no joke! Then the unthinkable happened. The dog actually held a press conference! No joke! Snap snap go the cameras on the White House lawn as little Bo the dog runs around, reporters peppering the Obamas with the silliest questions. Will you let it in the Oval Office? Will the dog sleep in your bed? Is the puppy neutered? Can the dog swim? Is it true that breed of dog has webbed feet? Of course if I were there, I would have asked very different questions… Perhaps I would have said, don’t you think that mut could do a better job running the Congress than Pelosi?! Is it true you will make the republicans take turns cleaning up after the dog goes potty? Does Hillary think Bo is a bigger dog than her husband? Does the dog pull a Bill Clinton and attach himself to the nearest, ugliest woman’s leg? Let’s say the dog is actually 70 years old. In dog years, would Bo still be younger than John McCain? Is Bo allowed to go drinking on Friday night’s with Ted Kennedy? For Bo’s next press conference, will he, like his master, be using a teleprompter? Isn’t Bo taller than Dennis Kucinich? Did Bo get a bailout similar to Fannie and Freddie? Mr. President, will you be bringing the dog to ASU when you give the commencement speech in Tempe, and if so, don’t you think even Bo could pull A’s and B’s at Arizona State if given the chance? Aren’t you surprised that the dog has a better and more hip wardrobe than Janet Napolitano? Mr. President, is it true that Kim Jong-Il has offered to stop launching missiles if you send the dog and some BBQ sauce over to North Korea? That’s How I Roll! Gaydos

Any comments on the latest news in this ongoing war? http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2010/01/08/12391811-ap.html

I am scared to go canoeing? I've went before, but last year my mom tipped the canoe, and I got hurt really bad. It has been lightly raining a lot in the area the past few days, and I am scared the water levels will be dangerous. Partly of why I am scared is because I saw in the news a dangerous rescue in the river we were planning to canoe, it was a week ago though.

How long do you think these 2 17 year olds should be sentenced for.? http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Alberta/2008/06/04/5770306.html Please answer my other question that didn't post.http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuNk97Z7fedGaZnCLohCjQvsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080604121753AAikP9p Never mind^^^^^ Yahoo deleted it.

Exception EOSError module C_28591.drv at 000113A1 System Error. Code 1400. Invalid window handle? This comes up sometimes when I am opening something from an email source.. could be an canoe news item or ?

Should the US make Santa Claus a citizen or? The Canadians did it... Why not? Would the ILLEGAL IMMORAL CRIMINAL INVADERS claim discrimination based on his skin tone?????? http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/National/2008/12/23/7839566.html

To day Hindu News Paper on trade between Tamil&Roman ports-1BCE/4CE.Is it another mile stone in Tamil History? More evidence unearthed at ancient port of Muziris. Pattanam, a small village located 25 km north of Kochi, is the new pilgrimage spot on the international archaeological map. This quiet place, archaeologists now confirm, was once the flourishing port known to the Romans as Muziris and sung in praise by the Tamil Sangam poets as Muciri. Every year since 2005, excavations have yielded artefacts, structures and even a canoe in one instance to confirm this conclusion. This year has also been productive for archaeologists. A figure of a pouncing lion carved in great detail on a semi precious stone and a bright micro metal object with intricate designs are two of the special objects found during the ongoing excavations that began in February. Copper antimony rods, usually associated with cosmetic use, were also found. The semi precious stone with the lion figure measures about 2 cm and is rounded at the edge. It appears to be part of a pendant or a ring. The object is yet to be dated in a scientific manner, but going by the depth at which it was found, it is tentatively placed in the early historic period — 1st century BCE to 4th century CE. It was during this time that trade with the West Asian and Roman ports was extensive. P.J. Cherian, director, Pattanam Excavation, thinks these ornamental metal objects and work on semi- precious stones reflect the fine artisanship that was prevalent at that time. Dr. Cherian's team has found a multitude of pottery shards, including that of a Roman amphora, early Chera coins, turquoise glazed pottery and cameo blanks (cameos were popular jewellery in ancient Rome). These attest to the existence of an active habitation and trading activities. Despite abundant references in Roman and Tamil texts, Muziris, the famous western trade post, remained elusive to archaeologists for long. http://beta.thehindu.com/arts/history-and-culture/article244338.ece

What is the best way to speak French fluently? I already take classes, and I'm learning a bit through osmosis (going to the french/news website: http://lcn.canoe.ca/ and also watching movies with french audio). Any other ways that can really benefit, other than moving to Paris?

What is more sanitary, a gas station bathroom or a Canadian hospital? http://chealth.canoe.ca/channel_health_news_details.asp?news_id=22150&channel_id=131 http://www.steynonline.com/

Why are there moron "fans" like this in the NHL? Click here to read about people who I hope get caught and who lose their careers and get familiar with jail. Real Flames fans never do this. http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Alberta/2008/04/01/5166106.html

Answering Christianity Haters? We read an interesting article today in philosophy, which started a good debate and thought people, might enjoy discussing this article http://torsun.canoe.ca/News/Columnists/Coren_Michael/2007/04/07/3943418.html

Should Stephane Dion, who wishes to be prime minister of Canada, renounce his French citizenship? I think the column below makes a good case for him doing so. http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Columnists/Levant_Ezra/2006/12/04/2621199-sun.html

Would you take a 17 month old canoeing down a flooded river? There is a river here that is very popular for canoeing, tubing, etc., but the water level is pretty high because of our recent rains. Apparently this afternoon, a couple took their toddler out in a kayak and they tipped it trying to get around some tree limbs and they've lost him. That happened at 3 pm and they have not found him yet, according to the latest news stories. It seems that the baby WAS wearing a life jacket, but it might not have fit and wasn't fastened all the way. I've lived here all my life and am very comfortable taking my son to the river. He is 5 and last summer we took him tubing down the river for the first time. We have been playing in the water since he was 2 1/2. I am pregnant now and I'm sure this child will grow up on the river bank as well. HOWEVER, I can't believe that someone would think a 1 year old is old enough for a kayak ride, without a proper life jacket, let alone when the river is high and fast and full of debris! What on Earth is wrong with people?

Women from as far away as America and England have bid thousands for this Beast.? Check it out, LOL http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/World/2007/08/20/4431371-sun.html

IS Canoe.ca a newspaper website? I want to know if it's like a site like the gazette or New york times which is a newspaper website. I'm not sure if canoe is a newspaper website or a general internet website. Also it can be a french or English website so i don't know if it's a newspaper website at all. Here is the website: http://sante.canoe.com/channel_health_news_details.asp?news_id=3458&news_channel_id=33&channel_id=33

why does the lightest person get hurt on a trampoline? in physics detail please a scientific answer to this?... thankyou http://chealth.canoe.ca/channel_health_news_details.asp?channel_id=40&relation_id=1237&news_channel_id=40&news_id=28168

Is this a great joke or what? So three men were flying over a jungle in plane. All of a sudden they heard " Crack Crack!". Then, their plane started to plummet towards the ground. Forced to, they performed a crash landing. Everyone got and and was safe and unharmed. As they turned around, there was a huge tribe of cannibals pointing arrows at them. They quickly surrendered. On the way back to the cannibal village, the leader of the cannibals said " There is good news and bad news for you. The bad news is that we are going to kill you, eat you, and then use your skin to build canoes. The good news it that we're going to let you chose how you die." As they arrived at the village, they were lined up. The first man stepped up. The cannibals asked, " How do you want to die?". The man replied " Give me a gun." So the cannibals handed him a gun loaded with one bullet. He said " Goodbye world!", and off went the gun, down he went. The second guy stepped up. The cannibals asked, " How do you want to die?". The man replied " Hang me." So the cannibals took him over to a tree and did as he asked. The last man stepped up. The cannibals asked, " How do you want to die?". The man replied " Give me a fork." The cannibals were whispering things like " What is he gonna do with a fork?" and " Why does he want a fork?". Anyway, they handed him a fork. He stood in front of them all and looked at them in digust. Then he said " Screw your damn canoes!" and started stabbing himself all over. Haha, I always laugh at that joke. Sorry if you didn't think it was funny. And if you dont get the punchline, heres the spoiler. ( they were using the skin for canoes, so he made holes in his skin so they couldn't make canoes out of it) Also, it's better when someone istelling it, not reading it off a page. Hey Lindsey, GUN HAS 1 BULLET!!!!

Is it not funny that the mainstream media ignored the tea parties? With the exception of Fox News... They may be the only unbiased news source in the country. Personally I threw some tea into the Wabash River yesterday. It was pretty funny actually; some stupid, Greenpeace hypocrites canoed around frantically trying to gather up all the tea bags. As though a few tea bags are really going to make a difference in that river. Of course, people who know nothing about the events have no clue that they were actually about promoting small government.

Why is there so much rising violence in Canada? http://thechronicleherald.ca/Front/9010015.html http://archive.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2006/1/24/150547.shtml http://www.am770chqr.com/Channels/Reg/News/Story.aspx?ID=1050017 http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2009/01/02/7901496-cp.html http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7808879.stm http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Alberta/2009/01/03/7908481-sun.html http://thechronicleherald.ca/Metro/1098821.html

what do u think after this? ok so if u live in calgary alberta canada uv probably already heard this story! and if u havnt well here it is... http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Alberta/2008/07/31/6317451.html i think its so sad and im totally scared 2 ever take a greyhound!! so my question is after this story would u still trust a greyhoud? and do u think they should add a medal detector? anyways i just wanted 2 share this with you!

If Al Qaeida is so organized, what exactly were they expecting to happen after an attack like the 9-11? Were they expecting the US to Invade Afganistan and Iraq coicidently shortly after the announce that they were going to start trading their oil in Euros? Is Al Quaida also in Venezuela and that's why we hate Hugo?http://money.canoe.ca/News/Sectors/Energy/2006/06/01/pf-1610076.html http://www.globalpolicy.org/nations/sovereign/dollar/2003/03oil.htm

Corrective discipline or child abuse??? http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Alberta/2007/05/26/4209901-sun.html How can these parents defend using handcuffs on a 4 yr old as corrective discipline?

Banning of Electronic Devices in school? (Notre Dame High)? Recently, a school in Ottawa (Notre Dame) has banned the use of electronic devices. Do you think this is a good idea or not? Perhaps there are other measures that can be taken INSTEAD for privacy. Full article here: http://ottsun.canoe.ca/News/OttawaAndRegion/2007/03/08/3713918-sun.html

Isn't it great when science closes gaps and missing information in the Evolutionary record? Yet another nail in the coffin of creationism. http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/Alberta/2008/05/22/5636176-sun.html Ah the sweet sound of creationists trying to convince each other that this doesn't shake their mythology to the core... Cave man, Have any credible evidence to support your threats? Yeah, I did'nt think so either... Hezkia, Yes the creationist barrel is full, of lies, half-truths and misinformation. The Evolution barrel on the other hand, is filled with peer-reviewed facts and evidence. Understand the difference now? No, probably not...

World Monetary Fund says "In nearly all countries higher taxes are inevitable". Or do Repubs think the US is? ...the one place that should never have to raise taxes? "OTTAWA - The International Monetary Fund is declaring the worst global recession since the Second World War over, but warns that the recovery will be sluggish and hard choices - including higher taxes - will be necessary to sustain the economic rebound. In an article to be published Wednesday, the international financing agency's chief economist says the recession has drained government treasuries to such an extent that "in nearly all countries ... higher taxation is inevitable." http://money.canoe.ca/News/Economy/2009/08/18/10500536-cp.html

Do you see an economic collapse on the way or is it all propaganda? A video blogger tells us how Venezuala is offering heating oil to poor Americans - free of charge http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4MqvvmfcsA The Canadian PM warns us of a looming economic crash in the US By KATHLEEN HARRIS, National Bureau OTTAWA - Prime Minister Stephen Harper is warning Canadians to brace for fiscal belt-tightening as a looming economic collapse in the U.S. threatens to make waves north of the border. Looking to an uncertain 2008, Harper signalled his Conservative government will save for rainy days ahead by foregoing sizeable tax cuts and keeping a tight grip on federal purse-strings in the next spring budget. http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/National/2007/12/20/4734763.html The FBI can't pay a phone bill The dollar is at an all time low - the Chinese are buying US banks USA today reports on the number of homeless vets looking for work The National Alliance to End Homelessness, a public education non-profit, based the findings of its report on numbers from Veterans Affairs and the Census Bureau. 2005 data estimated that 194,254 homeless people out of 744,313 on any given night were veterans http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-11-07-homeless-veterans_N.htm?csp=34 The estimated population of the United States is 304,119,678 so each citizen's share of this debt is $30,216.33. The National Debt has continued to increase an average of $1.43 billion per day since September 29, 2006 http://www.brillig.com/debt_clock/ US dollars fall from 8.3 Chinese yuan to 7.2 from 2005 to now http://ca.finance.yahoo.com/currency/convert?from=USD&to=CNY&amt=1&t=5y look at the chart - a comparison of china's "dollar" to the US - the US is on a nose dive

What would you do if you saw this happening before your eyes? Would you with a bit of help from other people be able to stop a man from stomping & beating his 2year old child to death? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1026980/The-father-pick-twins-save-canoe-capsized.html Oooops!!! am so sorry everyone...i posted the wrong link...both these stories touched me so much that i wasn't thinking right when i posted the link...sorry & thanks for the answers...

Should 'Canoe Man' John Darwin be allowed to own a dog? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1348095/Canoe-conman-John-Darwin-freed-serving-half-sentence-20k-benefits.html?ito=feeds-newsxml I am very concerned he is allowed to own a hound. I am worried as he is an untrustworthy man and also a catholic that he may abuse the dog. Does anyone share my concerns?

What do you think of Sid Vicious returning to the WWE Ring soon??? Four-time World Heavyweight Champion Sid Vicious is telling friends that he will be returning to World Wrestling Entertainment in September, reports; SLAM! Wrestling. http://www.lordsofpain.net/news/2008_/1218482805.php http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Wrestling/news.html Thursday, August 7, 2008 Section

Does your head hurt a little less after reading this? Mine does. http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Good_News/2009/12/29/12298641-ap.html

Humorous ideas to include in this short and satirical paragraph? The best things in life are free- or at least they were. Due to a recent shortage and ongoing inflation the price has been augmented to 3.09 a gallon, and is set to triple by 2010. In other news, the birds and the bees are now utilizing birth control. Eye-witnesses have claimed they saw the dish and the spoon in a canoe heading for Siberia. Also, any happily ever after must be requested one year in advance. And lastly, cloud nine will be closed for repairs again this Wednesday. Sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you and have a nice day. Sincerely, Management.

Has the legal system 'jumped the shark?' F/u: Can I sue for the spit take that ensued after reading this? Read the article: http://www.springfieldnewssun.com/news/springfield-news/family-of-man-hit-by-train-suing-railroad-canoe-company-848161.html?cxtype=rss_local-news Oh, please, defend this insanity. The comedy gold to be reaped from this is immeasurable.

this is my joke i hope you like it.reply anything you like.? Three Explorers Are Captured... A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe. As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down. The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over -- the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???" The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, @$$hole!"

funny or not? A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were exploring the jungle and were captured by a fierce tribe. As they sit in a hut, awaiting their fate, the chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down. The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over -- the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???" The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, a--hole!"

WANNA HEAR A NY JOKE {ur gonna love it}? A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down. The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over --the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???" The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, a**hole!" ok this credit does NOT go to me it goes to someone else called B~Notable here on Y/A...and once again THX B~Notable

This joke is for the bravery of the american people?like it? A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker are exploring the jungle and are captured by a fierce tribe. The chief tells them, "The bad news is that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison; the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down. The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol; the Brit points it at his head, says, "God save the Queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and jabs himself all over -- the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. Blood gushes from every hole. The chief screams, "What are you doing?" The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, as!ssshole!" Gimme a star if you like it.. Add me if you like, i post jokes all the time.

The Explorers (Old but good)? Three explorers came upon a deserted island, there was a Frenchman, an Englishman and an American... They were captured by a group of cannibals, tied together and approached by the head chief. The chief says: "The bad news is we're going to kill you, eat you, and use your skin for a canoe...The good news is you can choose how you want to die." The Frenchman says: "I will take le sword." He grabs the sword, proclaims,"Vive la France!!!" and impales himself. The Englishman says: "Right, a pistol for me old man" Putting it to his temple he shouts, "God save the Queen!" and shoots himself. The American says: "Give me a fork." The chief looks at him questioningly, "A fork?" "Yeah, a frigging fork, gimme a fork!" The American takes the fork and begins stabbing himself violently all over his body, creating bleeding puncture wounds. And the cannibals watch him for a while. Finally the chief stops him, "What are you doing? Surely this is not how you want to die?" The American replies, "Scr*w you AND your canoe!"

How about a little humor from NY? A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down. The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over --the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???" The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, a**hole!"

A Frenchman, A englishman and A New Yorker? were captured by cannibals , the chief comes to them and says the bad news is now that we have caught you we are going to kill you, put you in a pot and eat you and use your skin to make canoes the good news is you get to choose how you die . The Frenchman says i would like to die by the sword .so the chief hands him a sword .....viva la france and run the sword thru himslef The Englishman says i woudl like to die by the Pistol Please the chief hands him a pistol and says "god save the Queen " and blows his head off The New Yorker says i would like a fork the chief puzzled , but he shrugs and gives him a fork ..the new yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over the stomach, the chest , the sides , everywhere the blood gushing from all over The chief Appalled even for a cannibal , he asks " My God what are you doing . The New Yorker replied ......So much for your canoe

Last joke for the day,,,,hahahah or boo!!!??? star for hahaha pls? A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down. The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over --the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???" The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe, azshole!" Pls star if it is hahahaha,,,,thanks,,,

Do you think henpecking is an excuse for fraud and to escape a jail sentence? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1038014/Henpecked-husband-spared-jail-stealing-205-000-fund-shopaholic-wifes-spending-sprees.html Unbelievable considering canoe couple have been jailed for 6 years apiece! What do u think? see link above free advertising has been rumbled again Priyanka!!!

Can someone do this civics assignment for me? Find three news stories from a reputable on line news source. Some useful suggestions are listed below. You are required to find three news stories. The first story should deal with a federal matter. The second story should address a provincial matter. The third story should deal with a municipal matter. For each article, complete and submit the following: · Identify the author, newspaper, and date of publication. · Identify and explain the 5 Ws (who, what, where, why, and when) of the newspaper article. · Name which level of government this article refers to. · Discuss one difficulty that the government would face in making a decision on this issue. To assist you with Part A, an exemplar, featuring a sample answer has been provided in HTML format for you to view. Your teacher will require access to the stories you select. You do not necessarily need to cut and paste your selected stories into the completed work that you submit. But if you do not do this, you must create a link to the articles or include a web address where the stories can be easily located by your teacher. Resources 1. http://www.cbc.ca/ 2. http://www.theglobeandmail.com/ 3. http://canoe.ca/ 4. http://www.kidon.com/media-link/canada.shtml (offers access to several hundred on-line Canadian newspapers) 5. http://news.google.ca/ Complete the following assignment and submit your work to the Dropbox. Part B: Levels of Government and the Needs of Citizens Review this listing of five (5) fictional characters. Each is a resident of Ontario. Each has issues and characteristics unique to his/her life, and each requires the "hand of government" to intervene in his/her life in some way. For any three (3) of the listed 5 fictional characters construct a brief paragraph in which you make up a fictional story showing how that person might possibly interact with the level of government that is listed below his/her description. To assist you with Part B, an exemplar, featuring a sample answer has been provided in HTML format for you to view.

Wimbledon is such an easy Tournament to play, even a Caveman can enter it. Do you agree? http://slam.canoe.ca/Slam/Tennis/News/2008/06/15/k061505A.jpg http://shaide.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/cavemen.jpg

Christians, how does your god explain this, or is this also the work of the devil? http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Good_News/2009/06/04/9678691-ap.html